Honest Car Manufacturer Slogans: Part 2

"jkm7680" (jkm7680) 05/14/2015 at 20:53 • Filed to: None

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Oh, what a time in automotive history! It’s too bad that slogans aren’t thought of with the same aptitude that the past held. Luckily, I have once again decided to contribute my “slogan creation wisdom” and apply it to other very slogan-troubled vehicle manufacturers. In order for me to completely put my best foot forward for this task, I spent hours upon hours in my Zen relaxation lounge staring at pictures of water, sunsets and celestial whatnot as I felt the sand that I had stolen the previous night from the neighbor’s kids sandbox between my toes. Ouch, fuck. That’s a plastic spade. Why must they make those wretched things so sharp?

All jokes aside, I just made these to poke gentle fun at car manufacturers. Don’t take any of them seriously.

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sm70- why not Duesenberg? > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 20:56

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No kidding.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 20:57

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One ring for each previous marriage.

jkm7680 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 05/14/2015 at 20:58

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They’ve just been going full out recently. Like the base Lancer seats in the EVO to comply with crash test standards.

If I were in charge, I’d do a full lineup reform and pull the brand out of the market honestly.

TheHondaBro > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 21:01

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Pretty much.

TheHondaBro > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 05/14/2015 at 21:01

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Does Larry King drive an Audi?

TheHondaBro > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 21:04

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Honda: Look how good we are at Formula One Indycar!

traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 21:04

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Where was the one that said “More options than white kid in Connecticut?” That was funny.

TheHondaBro > traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn 05/14/2015 at 21:11

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http://jalopnik.com/if-car-company…

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 21:19

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Buick’s should be “We’re basically German at this point.”

jkm7680 > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 05/14/2015 at 21:21

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They’re doing a pretty good job regardless, but they might as well be Opel.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 21:22

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I just see it as a way for me to get an Opel with some nice leather and a badge associated with retirement home parking lots.

jkm7680 > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 05/14/2015 at 21:24

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Sounds about right to me, haha. They’re good looking cars, and the manual options were probably an attempt to cater to a younger demographic. But the kicker is that sometimes a badge is the only reason why people buy or don’t buy a car.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 21:27

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Sadly. But hey, more Regal GS for me.

AM > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 21:34

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1000% accurate!

jkm7680 > AM 05/14/2015 at 21:35

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:)

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > TheHondaBro 05/14/2015 at 21:55

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Lincoln MKS

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > jkm7680 05/15/2015 at 00:13

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Case in point: My dad wouldn’t consider a Taurus SHO when he bought the Flex because the called it a Taurus.